The Day After...

I was just reading my blog from Tuesday, as I said 'good bye' to my sweet mother-in-law. I especially rested on the part where she didn't want a funeral because 'no one would come, anyway'. Boy, would she be surprised! At her graveside service yesterday were her children, grandchildren, her sister, my family, friends, and people from church. If the weather hadn't been so dicey, her friends from Silverton, Oregon, where Mom lived for so many years, would have been there. But we had quite the group and I can just about guarantee you that she would be amazed at the number of people in attendance! Here is the link to her obituary in the newspaper:
http://legacy.com/statesmanjournal/Obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=121570022

The service was so nice. We had about three inches of snow on the ground, which made for an amazingly beautiful backdrop. Mom is buried in a very lovely part of the cemetery with a huge tree nearby, something she would love. Everything went as well as it possibly could.

The part that really stuck out for me was this amazing poem that Erin, Joyce's youngest daughter, wrote. Erin has this wonderful gift of being able to express herself through poetry and other writings, and it was so heartfelt. Once I get the text, I'll post it. It was something she wrote on her way to the cemetery. What a gift!

We had a luncheon at the church afterward and it went well, also. We got a lot of family pictures, which I will also post once I get them. Then we came back here and Jay and his sisters went through a lot of Joyce's stuff. It was fun to hear them reminisce about their childhood, and also things that happened even after they became adults. Joyce tried so hard to make as many positive memories for her family as she could. All she ever wanted was for her children and grandchildren to be happy.

Now we turn our focus to Christmas. It will feel different this year, and I think *we* will feel different this year. The whole purpose of our lives here has been brought to the forefront of our minds this last week. Suddenly Christmas feels like it should: a celebration of the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Hopefully we have a better understanding of His mission here on this earth, His atoning sacrifice, and the promise of eternal life if we will choose to live worthy of that promise. We are grateful to a wise and loving Father in Heaven, who knows us so well, and more importantly, who knows us *individually*. That fact is made especially apparent during times like this, when we need love and comfort while grieving.

I love you all, my dear family and my dear friends. You are the gifts that I have been blessed with, and that's all I ever want at Christmas, or any other time of year, for that matter!

Merry Christmas, everyone!

Good bye, Mom...

Jay's Mom, Joyce Greene, passed away suddenly on Sunday, December 14, 2008. She had just returned to Oregon from Idaho, where she had been visiting her sisters and her eldest daughter, Julie. I could go into all of the details of how it happened, but I will suffice it to say that it was quick and painless, just the way she would have wanted it. The doctors are certain that she never knew what hit her. They suspect that she died of a pulomnary embolism.

Joyce will be missed, especially during this time of year. She loved Christmas. She took great pains putting together such thoughtful Christmas gifts. She always apologized that it wasn't 'a million dollars', and we tried to convince her that what she had done by her own hands was worth so much more.

Creating beauty was always important to her. She had such a talent for decorating, creating the crafts that she loved so much, and finding beauty in the simplest things and places.

She also enjoyed imparting her wisdom to any and all. She went through a lot of unpleasantness in her life, but she always tried to see whatever 'positive' she could in those situations. One of her favorite sayings was, "This too, shall pass". It became one of her mantras. Another one of her favorite sayings was, "Live, Love, Laugh", something she tried to do every day.

Joyce and I would have these talks where we would just get silly and laugh like little girls. She always enjoyed laughing, and I loved and cherish those talks. I liked being able to make her laugh, especially when she was having a bad day.

Joyce didn't want a funeral- "no one would come, anyway", she'd say. All she wanted was a graveside service, then go back home and have a 'chocolate orgy' (her words!) and talk about all of the happy and silly things about her. We will honor her wishes, mostly because she said that she'd come back and haunt us if we didn't! lol

Mom, we are going to miss you so very much. We have a sure knowledge of where you are now, and that we will all be together again as a family, but until that day comes, you will be in our thoughts and in our hearts every day, and we will miss you. We love you so very much, Mom.

The Dreaded Family Picture!

Okay, so when your child gets married, getting pictures taken is part and parcel of the whole experience. I HATE getting my picture taken. But I have had people ask for a current picture of me and my family, so here it goes. Enjoy?!?

FYI, Jay and I are in the front, and from left to right in the back is Mary (the bride), JB, Chrissy, Jill & Jacob.

We Survived Wedding Day...

Mary and Tim are officially newlyweds! It doesn't seem like it was almost a week ago that they got married. Things are going well for them, complete with the usual growing pains that newlyweds usually face.

The wedding was wonderful. Mary made a beautiful bride, and Tim a very handsome groom. We spent a lot of time getting the church ready for the reception, and it all looked great. People seemed to have a good time at the reception (actually referring to it as a party, which is more appropriate). Everything seemed to be work out very well. We all had a great time!

I want to publicly thank Linda Rafn, Chris Rafn, Stephanie Rafn, Kim Lamborn, Andreya Nicholson, Jacob Mainard, Nathan Rafn, Elaina Rafn, David & Lauren Rafn, Daniel Rafn, Amy & Shawn Allen, Crossing 13th, and I know I'm leaving other people out (and I apologize profusely to you in advance). But I want you all to know that we couldn't have done this without you.

Next week will bring the beginning of classes at Chemeketa Community College. Jill and JB will be taking classes on campus, and I'm taking a couple of classes online. I figure that while I'm still recovering from my surgeries, I might as well learn something! Life is slowly but surely getting back to normal. It's all good.

18 Days and Counting!

Holy cow! Mary's wedding is in 18 days! My list of things to do gets longer and longer. But it's all very exciting, and for the majority of the time, it is such a happy time. :-D

For those keeping track, I am just now getting started on sewing Mary's wedding dress. Yeah, I know, I'm insane. It will all come together, though. But no one gets to peek at the dress until wedding day. lol

School starts today for Jacob. He is so excited! He's starting middle school (6th grade). He sure grew up fast this summer. He seems more mature and he also grew several inches! He's going to be a tall one like JB, who's 6 feet tall. Anyway, I'm sure that Jacob will have a good day today. He has a great attitude, and that's half the battle.

Chrissy will start school on Wednesday. I still can't believe that she's going to be a junior! What a kid. She should have a great school year. She'll be taking some very good classes, including American Sign Language, which she really excels at.

JB and Jill will start at Chemeketa Community College the end of this month. They both have great education plans, and I expect them to do very well. I'll also be taking some online classes again.

Fall will settle upon Oregon soon. I love this time of year. The trees here turn the most glorious colors. I'm not sure they are as amazing as the trees in New England, but they're awfully close. We have a couple of trees in our yard that turn these wonderful reds and oranges. I love being able to look out my windows and see those. I also love the fact that the mornings will start getting a little chilly, the sunlight in the afternoons will be diffused and the shadows will get longer. It's all good. My mood is always better in the Fall, too. The kids like me much better this time of year. Go figure. lol

The Happy Couple

I would like to introduce Mary Tedders and Tim Sieroslawski to all of you. Mary and Tim are getting married on Saturday, September 20, 2008. We're very excited to welcome Tim into our family.

Enjoy!

Almost one month later...

Okay, so it's been almost a month since my last post, which doesn't surprise me too much. Life here has been crazy- full of wedding planning, football training camp, physical therapy, you name it. Stressful, but good stress, for the most part.

I just got through reading a friend's blog about Utah drivers. Having lived and driven in Utah, I completely understand his frustration and concern. For some inexplicable reason, Utah drivers are awful! But I have to add that Oregon drivers are coming up a close second.

When you start teaching your kids how to drive, you are even more critical of other people's driving. You see people making stupid decisions, disobeying the law, and what is really getting to me are the people I see texting on their cell phones while they're driving! If I hadn't seen it for myself, I never would have believed it. For example:

I saw a woman driving through downtown, texting on her cell phone, and going through multiple red lights without even blinking an eye or even looking up from her cell phone!!! Ridiculous! I even yelled at her out of pure disgust, and she just smiled and waved at me. She had no idea why I was yelling at her. And she was probably MY age!! Ugh.

'Do as I say, not as I do'.

I remember hearing this saying as a kid. It didn't make much sense to me then, but once I had children, I realized how often we do this as parents, as adults, really. We may think that kids don't pay attention to us, but that's just not true. They watch our every move, they hear everything we say, albeit selectively, but they do hear us. They just may not LISTEN. And I'll tell you what...you misspeak even once, and it comes back to bite you in the butt- over and over again.

Wedding Planning

We used to do catering, mostly for weddings. I loved it more than my kids did. If we could have had access to a commercial kitchen, I think it would have been easier. Well, that and if I hadn't had 'career-ending' back problems. But that's for another day. I love coming up with the menus, setting up the tables, keeping things stocked and appetizing-looking. It was very gratifying. And knowing that I didn't have to deal with anything else but the food was great. I never wanted to be a wedding planner. I just wanted to put out delicious, beautiful food.

Anyway...I honestly didn't realize how much planning goes into wedding planning when it's your own child. Plans keep on changing, money suddenly doesn't seem to be there, it gets crazy. And today, we're going lace shopping for Mary's wedding dress (which I'm sewing!). Things are slowly but surely being crossed off 'the list', but there's still so much left to do. As of today, there are 40 days until the wedding. What happened to the last 45 days?? They literally flew by!

The Passing of Time...

It's corny, but time does indeed fly by. I just realized that I had created a blog, and that I had made only one entry the first week of June. Today is July 19! Crazy.

I've watched my three older children with great interest lately. Mary, in particular, is working through adulthood, trying to juggle finances, an upcoming wedding, and life in general. My life was quite different when I was her age. I had a couple of plans, but nothing concrete. I just blithly went along with very few cares. How times have changed.

Jill has spent a great deal of time finding her way in life. It looks like she has landed on a course of study that has made her very happy. I won't divulge it right now, mostly because I don't know if she's ready for the world to know it. But I haven't seen her this happy in a very long time. It's all good.

JB, having just graduated from high school, is trying to figure out what he wants to be when he grows up. He has several roadblocks to overcome, but with a lot of support, he will find his way. He's a good kid. He seems a lot happier now that he's out of high school. He deserves that happiness.

Chrissy joined the ranks of licensed drivers yesterday. She is a good driver, thank goodness. What is hard is trying to make one car available to three people at once! Not an easy nor pleasant task. Chrissy is your typical 16 year old young woman. She loves talking to her friends, hanging out, and sleeping. Remember those days?

Jacob is enjoying being an 11 year old kid. He gets phone calls all day long, friends asking him to hang out, play games, etc. He loves it. He also loves hanging out with JB. I love hearing them laugh as they play video games together. It just does my heart good!

Jay has finally gotten the job he's always wanted. He started this week. He's been trying for 8 years to get a job like this. We anticipate him being with this job for a very long time, hopefully until retirement. It's an amazing company, and we feel very blessed.

I spend my time trying to figure out how to live my life with these physical disabilities that have made themselves a part of my life now. When you are in your 20's, or even in your 30's, you just figure that you will always be healthy, strong, and able to move around anyway you please. I now find myself worrying that I won't be able to pick up future grandchildren because of my physical limitations. It frustrates me to no end. I did not anticipate being 48 and moving around like an 80 year old woman. Life is very good at throwing us curveballs.

I wonder what will things be like a month from now??

Our boy's growing up!

JB graduated from high school tonight! I'd love to post a picture of him, but none of our digital cameras work. I could just scream. But, I have the image of my wonderful son in his cap and gown, with a smile as big as I've ever seen on him etched in my mind. JB finally feels such a sense of accomplishment, and a new level of confidence that has eluded him all of these years. I'm just so proud of him. We all are!

CONGRATULATIONS, JB! WE LOVE YOU, AND WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU!